


(i’m calling it) closure

by kirani



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Drabble Collection, F/M, Gen, Introspection, QPP Sarchengsey, Road Trips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2020-08-30
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:01:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 1,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26069137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kirani/pseuds/kirani
Summary: Gansey has a lot of time to think these days.-A series of introspective drabbles written for Gansey Week 2020 on The Road Trip.
Relationships: Henry Cheng & Richard Gansey III & Blue Sargent, Richard Gansey III/Blue Sargent
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11
Collections: Gansey Week 2020





	1. Day 1: The Pig/High on Life

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from the Wrabel song Closure which is not even close to what this fic is about but I liked the sentiment

Gansey had never been high but he thought it might feel like this. He was driving down the open road with Blue beside him and Henry leaning forward between their seats and chatting happily about something.

He wasn’t really paying attention to the conversation, too caught up in the emotion of the moment. They’d only been on the road for a couple of days, wandering to any roadside attraction or viewpoint that attracted them with no real destination in mind, but had easily settled into a routine. He and Blue traded off driving and Henry doled out snacks, music, and conversation from the back seat. 

It was the most alive Gansey had ever felt.

There was a time when he hadn’t thought he’d live to love like this, easily existing with his loved ones, with Blue, with no worries hanging over their heads. He smiled to himself and glanced over at Blue and Henry. Blue was already looking at him and Henry turned to meet his eyes as well.

Blue slid her hand over his on the gear shift. 

“You good?”

Gansey grinned. “I’m alive,” he declared and they knew what he meant. 

Blue smiled back and squeezed his hand and Henry whooped loudly. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [reblog this drabble](https://blueseyforthesoul.tumblr.com/post/627343686049595392/drabble-for-ganseyweek-day-1-the-pighigh-on)


	2. Day 2: Monmouth/Insomnia

Part of him had foolishly hoped that he would sleep better after his second death. 

Sometimes he did, nestled between Blue and Henry in hotel rooms or sleeping bags in tents, comfortable and safe. But sometimes he lay awake for hours. 

He thought of Monmouth on those nights. Of sitting on the floor of the enormous room and carefully glueing tiny cardboard roofs to walls at all hours of the night. Of wandering into the kitchen/laundry/bath to mindlessly look in the fridge and wonder if he was hungry or tired or bored or all three. 

There was so much to do. 

But now, snug in a tent under the stars with two of his favorite people, he was safe and had time. So why was he still not sleeping? Perhaps he never would. 

“Gansey?” Blue murmured. 

“I’m fine.”

“Not what I asked.” She propped herself up on her elbow and studied him. 

“I love you, Jane.” 

She smiled and crawled on top of him, pressing her weight into his chest, grounding him and relaxing his muscles automatically. “I love you.”

On his other side, Henry grunted wordlessly and cuddled closer to him in his sleep. 

Gansey closed his eyes and slept. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [reblog this drabble](https://blueseyforthesoul.tumblr.com/post/627437399566336000/drabble-for-ganseyweek-day-2)


	3. Day 3: Cabeswater/Hopeful/Magical Moment

There were no two ways about it, Gansey missed Cabeswater. 

It would always be a part of him, he knew. But the feeling of stepping into that forest was something he would never feel again and that broke something inside of him. 

They were wandering through a state park in the Midwest today, having rented out a campsite for a couple of nights and had set off early to see as much as they could. He was dwarfed by the trees, old and magical and good, but it wasn’t the magic he wanted.

He wondered sometimes if it was worth it, Cabeswater giving itself for him. If he was worth all that. 

Blue snagged his hand and pulled him back to her. 

“What are you thinking about?”

“Cabeswater. I miss it.” 

Blue nodded, thoughtful. “It’s still with us.”

“I feel it here,” Henry added. “Its magic.” 

“That’s Gansey,” Blue smiled. 

“That’s us,” Gansey amended. He dropped a kiss onto Blue’s hair and reeled Henry in with his other arm, hugging him to his side. 

They were magical, the three of them. Their hopes for the future; that was enough. That was worth it. 

It had to be. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [reblog this ficlet](https://blueseyforthesoul.tumblr.com/post/627522425024856064/drabble-for-ganseyweek-day-3)


	4. Day 4: Aglionby/Lonely

At Aglionby, Gansey was rarely alone but he was often lonely. He’d been on the crew team, had friends among students and faculty alike, but he was lonely nonetheless. 

It was the opposite, now. Crammed into a car or tent or motel bed or diner booth with Blue and Henry, he was always surrounded by those he loved and he felt so startlingly present. Felt their presence always, even when they weren’t there. Ronan and Adam were farther from him, but they were with him, too. He was no longer lonely, even when he was alone. 

It was a pleasant discovery to make. 

He’d realized it last night, laying beside a campfire and staring at the stars over Idaho. Henry and Blue had gone to bed but Gansey had begged off and stayed. They patted his shoulder and kissed his cheek respectively and left him there. But he hadn’t been lonely. 

Now, waking to the sound of birds in the trees, his friend and his true love cuddled up asleep beside him, he felt it again. He was alone, but not lonely. He wondered when the last time he’d been lonely was. He wondered if it mattered. 

He decided it didn’t. 

“I think I’d like pancakes,” he declared to the sleeping tent, startling his companions awake. 

Blue blinked. “Pancakes?”

“Oh hell yes,” Henry mumbled, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. 

“You’re driving,” Blue told him, tossing the keys over Henry’s body. 

Gansey grinned and caught them. 

He may have met them through Aglionby but he was glad they’d left it behind for this: together. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [reblog this ficlet](https://blueseyforthesoul.tumblr.com/post/627612606193172480/drabble-for-ganseyweek-day-4-aglionbylonely-at)


	5. Day 5: Henrietta/Homesick/The View from Here

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Henry asked, joining Gansey on the lookout. Henry had become even closer with both him and Blue on the trip and always seemed to know when Gansey needed someone to interrupt his thoughts. He fit with them like that. 

“Yes,” Gansey admitted. And it was. But he wasn’t enjoying it. 

He wasn’t sure if it was the time he’d been away or the new, too tall, too sharp mountains, but Gansey was incredibly homesick for Henrietta. 

“Whatcha thinkin’, Gansey-boy?” Henry nudged him with his elbow. 

Gansey shrugged. “Just a bit homesick, I guess.” 

Henry hummed. “I don’t think I’ve ever been homesick.”

Gansey looked at him, studying Henry’s profile as he looked over the valley. It made sense, he supposed. 

“Home was always a strange concept for me. Before Henrietta.” 

Henrietta had settled into his heart and Gansey had known home for the first time in its streets and its mountains and its people. 

“I found home there, too, in a way. I found home in us.”

Gansey rubbed his thumb against his lip. “Would you be homesick, then? Away from us?”

“Let’s not find out, eh?” Henry grinned and wrapped an arm around Gansey, returning his gaze to the valley. 

He wasn’t in any rush to. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [reblog this ficlet](https://blueseyforthesoul.tumblr.com/post/627745322278502400/drabble-for-ganseyweek-day-5)


	6. Day 6: Ley lines/Death & Rebirth

It wasn’t the first ley line they had encountered on their meandering journey across the country, but it felt important. They had reached the west coast after following whatever road called to them, chasing roadside attractions, protests, and everything in between. 

But this one felt different. 

Ley lines had always been focal points of his life. He had died on one. Twice. He had found friends on the ley line. He had found love. What would he find here? What would begin? What would end? 

Blue interrupted his thoughts gently, wrapping herself around his back where he sat on the beach side bench. “Alright?” She asked quietly. 

Gansey just relaxed into her. 

They sat in silence for a long moment, looking out at the ocean, feeling the magic thrum through them in their own unique connections. 

The sound of the camera shutter disturbed the moment and Gansey looked to the side and saw Henry lower Gansey’s camera. He’d been stealing it lately, determined to capture Gansey on film since he never bothered to put himself in his photos of their trip. It was rather sweet. 

“Hey lovers,” Henry greeted. 

“We love you, too, you know,” Gansey told him firmly. It was a different love but it was love. 

“I know,” Henry said with a small smile. 

They’d tried to define what they were once, early in the trip, but Henry had just shrugged and repeated his joke about being Henry-sexual and insisted he didn’t want either of them that way. Probably didn’t want anyone that way, though he wasn’t quite sure yet. 

But Gansey, this post-second-death Gansey still wanted to define it somehow, wanted to share his feelings with his loved ones as he hadn’t before. So he’d read up: late nights online when they’d been in towns, lazy mornings perusing bookstores, and texts to Adam asking after resources he might have found at Harvard. He thought he’d found the words at last and suddenly it seemed like a good time to share them. 

“Platonic love, but no less important,” he continued. “Some people call it a queer platonic partnership.”

Henry considered him carefully and Gansey watched his eyes flick to Blue, who hugged Gansey tighter then extended an arm to Henry. 

The other boy joined them on the bench. “That’s nice.” 

Gansey grinned and wrapped an arm around him as well, settling in to watch the sun set over the ley line. 

Another new beginning. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [reblog this ficlet](https://blueseyforthesoul.tumblr.com/post/627832224368181248/drabble-for-ganseyweek-day-6-ley-lines-death)


	7. Day 7: Journal/Passionate

Sometimes, Gansey got his old Glendower journal out and flipped through it. He traced his fingers over the drawings and writing, remembering when he had written it, feeling all that was held in those pen strokes. 

He both did and didn’t miss those days. 

He had been trying to cram so much into his time, even before he’d heard his own voice on St. Mark’s Eve and known his time was shorter than ever imagined. 

He’d obsessed over this journal, over this quest, the one he thought would be his last, and then suddenly it wasn’t. He’d lived again. He felt like he was missing something, sometimes, now that it was over. That passion no longer lighting him on fire.

They were nearly back to Henrietta, now, having traveled the country for a year, and Gansey had been drawn back to the old journal again, searching for an answer to how he was feeling. 

He ran his fingers over the drawings he’d made: Blue sleeping in Monmouth, trees in Cabeswater, a boy in Nino’s with a smudge under his eye, Ronan looking at Adam when he hadn’t thought he was looking, Adam looking at Ronan when he knew he was looking, Henry fidgeting with some device Gansey hadn’t bothered drawing.

It was all so much. It had been his life. But now there was so much more. He loved and was loved and he was  _ happy  _ in a way he never was when he’d written this journal. 

He closed the journal and stood, ready to go home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [reblog this ficlet](https://blueseyforthesoul.tumblr.com/post/627907760310370304/drabble-written-for-ganseyweek-day-7)  
> That's all, folks! I hope you liked it, I just have a lot of feelings about Gansey and needed to share them.

**Author's Note:**

> I’m on tumblr at blueseyforthesoul where I have a lot of feelings about Gansey.


End file.
